披薩｜Pizza

費時三個月，終於將這張披薩畫完了。作畫的同時，了知真理的旅途也齊頭並進；回頭一看，短時間內心境不知不覺轉化了許多。以前作畫總是想得很多：要選擇什麼樣的主題、是否改畫食物以外的主題、畫本土的食材是否比國外的來得恰當…反覆思量許久才動筆。過往內心有著不必要的堅持：認為在這片土地生長，就必須要畫與本土相關的食物，才能引起共鳴；若是畫了與本土無關的作品，內心會有莫名的愧疚感，彷彿對異國風情的欣賞和嚮往是一種罪惡，崇洋媚外等等。

但隨著自我定義的崩解，如今已不再堅持自己該是什麼形象、身分，不再用理想與憧憬為自己張貼標籤，認為自己該是什麼樣子；不塑造自己成為任何人物，只成為靈感的通道，自由地創作著。因此自然而然便打破了過往的思想框架，隨興而畫；不去過度思考畫面背後想傳達的訊息，只根據心的共鳴，率直地畫下感知體驗裡最深刻的印象。沒有充滿邏輯推論、評比分析、冠冕堂皇的頭腦解釋，只有直覺的低語，在內心最隱微之處所喚起、逕自拿起畫筆的潛動力。

繪製這幅披薩時，心境是很奇妙的。僅是刻劃一片披薩就耗掉幾個小時，作畫過程中還要不斷重複地檢視、修正，直至作品達到理想狀態。我（目前，誰知道未來會不會改變呢）並非偏向右腦型、豪邁揮灑的感性創作者，因此創作過程步步為營，嚴謹的思量與畫面經營、細節描繪在創作過程中必不可少。而過程中的挫折、喜悅、懶散、樂趣、灰心、滿足等各種滋味輪番出現，就像走在蜿蜒山徑上，辛苦爬坡後，轉個彎又是嶄新的風景。抵達完成的頂峰，愉悅與滿足達到高點也隨之結束；收藏起來待裱框，繼續開始下一趟紙上旅程。

After three months, I finally finished this pizza painting. As painting, the journey of knowing the truth simultaneously. When I look back, my mood has changed a lot in a short period of time. In the past, I always thought a lot about painting: what kind of theme to choose, whether to change the theme of painting other than food, whether painting local ingredients is more appropriate than foreign ones, etc. In the past, there was an unnecessary insistence in my heart: I thought that since I grew up in this land, I had to paint food related to the local area in order to provoked resonance among the audience. Appreciation and yearning exotic cultures was like a sin of worshipping foreigners.

But with the disintegration of self-definition, now I no longer insist on what image and identity I should be; no longer label myself with ideals and visions, and what I think I should be like. I don’t shape myself into any character, just be an inspiration channel, painting freely. Therefore, I naturally break the ideological framework of the past and paint at will. Without thinking too much about the message behind the picture, I only draw the deepest impression in the perceptual experience frankly based on the resonance of my heart. There are no high-sounding explanations full of logical deductions, evaluations and analysis, only intuition whispers. Let the latent power that is evoked in the most subtle part of the heart lead me pick up the paintbrush.

It was fantastic when drawing this pizza. It took three hours just to carve a slice of pizza, and the process of painting required repeated inspections and corrections until the work reached the ideal state. I (currently, who knows if I will change in the future) am not a right-brained, bold and swaying emotional artist, so my painting process is a step-by-step one. Rigorous thinking, picture management, and detailed description are essential within my painting. In the process, frustration, joy, laziness, fun, frustration, satisfaction and other tastes appeared in turn, just like walking on a winding mountain path—after a hard climb turning a corner was a new scenery. Reaching the pinnacle of completion, joy and contentment reached the high point and it ended. I put the painting away for framing, and move on to my next journey on paper.